I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
