I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
