If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
is it fun? or sober?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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