Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
