the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
