I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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