DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
