how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
