this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
