I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
