loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
