we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
