"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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