Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's paper in my vomit.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
