Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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