I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
