Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
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