Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
