this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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