I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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