we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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