I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
