Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There r osticjed everywhere
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize