i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
