i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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