If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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