i think my tv is drunk
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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