i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
