I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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