I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
