Do you still have your period?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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