Jerry, you need to find god
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
