I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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