all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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