you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
