She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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