What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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