I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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