quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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