How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
