It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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