At least make sure they are 18
Why
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize