Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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