this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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