We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
