Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
foreskin is a definite game changer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
