The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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