doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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