This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
