Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
