Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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