I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
