On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
