somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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