i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
