On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
