Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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