you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
